I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
