I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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