help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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