he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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