real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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