IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
