yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
