Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
