ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I still have a little drunk in my system
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
