We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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