I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just high enough for therapy.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
