I just made out with a guy for $7.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
