craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
