he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
