Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
