we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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