I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize