woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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