I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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