the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize