even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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