she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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