i will never coherently bang her
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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