Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
