I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
