i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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