Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize