There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
