I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am naked and annoyed.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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