wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
