he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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