it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
