Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
