Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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