dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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