This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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