im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
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