You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
