If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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