Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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