My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
