You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
"it" just moved
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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