So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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