I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
