her vagine was all disorganized.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
