I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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