Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
