Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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