hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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