Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
