He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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