Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
