I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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