You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
