She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So much Jack, so little girl.