I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.