Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
