If i come over, it means nothing
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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