I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
