He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
