just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dicks are not precious.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
