I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
