Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
