Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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