he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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