what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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